it wont let me paste the entire thing. thsi is just a draft. im 13 so its not that good. by the way., does anyway have any good name ideas?
thsi is it. im sorry about the spelling its just a draft. theres some parts that doesnt make any sense cause i changed it a bit. heres the first chapter:
Chapter 1. Broken
I was so excited. My family and I were heading on our way to our new house in Scottsdale. We were travelling in our brand new sleek black Volvo. Every body seemed to stare as we easily passed them in our turbo motor. It was going to be amazing! My family lived in a run down little home, just the 3 of use. Then came my baby brother Liam. My parents decided that our house was too small to fit a 4-member family so we decided that it was time to leave. My parents had gotten married back when they were young. There were high school sweethearts. My mother was 18 and my father 19 when bought the house and had me. I was 15 and was sick of the little cottage, I had lived there for my entire life. Luckily, my mother became pregnant and had my 4-year-old brother. At first, it was easily. The 2 bedrooms suited us perfectly. Lots of room. There was never a line to the bathroom. My brother sleeped in his cot in my parent鈥檚 room. We were fine until he hit the age of three. Suddenly, there was a line to the bathroom and the two bedrooms didn鈥檛 have enough space for an extra bed, the cot now out grown. To make the deal even sweeter, my father got a promotion up in Scottsdale, so that sealed the deal. We were leaving. I loved that old house, but we desperately needed something more. I had seen a grainy picture of the house from my dad鈥檚 automatic camera. It wasn鈥檛 very clear, but you could see how graceful the old double storied house looked. It was old, but in mint condition, and cheap too. I was bouncing up in my seat, I could wait. The three hour drive seemed to drag. The road was slick and icy. My father took great care driving slowly, knowing that the road was extremely dangerous. We were almost there, then suddenly it was all a blur, a flash of blue appeared out of nowhere, losing control on the slick ice. I felt the painful blow of the truck colliding into the right side of our Volvo and the metallic screech of twisting mental. My hands flew up into the air, trying to grab onto something, but failing. Our car screeched to a stop. The jerking motion sent caused my neck buckle and hit the side window with amazing force. I heard glass shatter and a ripping feeling on the top of my head. I raised my hand to my head, where the searing pain was located, until I felt the painful glass digging into my hands. I ignored the pain and touched the top of my head I felt something warm and sticky oozing from a large gash. I heard a surprisingly loud sound, like a-bomb exploding. It hurt my ears. I lifted my mangled, bloody hand to my ears to shield them from the sound until I felt the comforting heat. I must be dead I decided. I shut my eyes to slip into the darkness. It was peaceful for a while. I heard my family calling me. I followed their voices with awe and wonder. The heat grew. It was starting to get uncomfortable. I was running quicker towards the voices. Death should be this uncomfortable. The heat grew, almost raising me up to the surface. I was slowly getting closer and closer to my families voices. I was almost there, then the heat became unbearable, almost painful. I came back up to the surface unwillingly. This was torture. Why couldn鈥檛 I slip away peacefully? I was drowsy, but I knew I had to get away from the heat. I glanced towards my window, now smashed in pieces surrounding me. An exit. Perfect. I tried to use my legs to push my self out through the broken glass. My hands dug and elbow dug into the shattered glass. I could feel warm blood trickling down my check from my head. I couldn鈥檛 feel my wound anymore it was just numb. Suddenly, pain ran up my left leg. I heard an ear-piercing scream. Then I realised it was me. The pain was unmentionable. I used my arms and right leg to somehow push my way through the broken glass and twisted metal. I felt the remaining glass cut into my stomach as I dragged my body across the window. My left leg followed limply across the metal and rubble.
its currently 4,799 words. im on the secound chapter. i havnt really gotten far. but above just a little take from the story.
Do u like my (half)story?
hi there bella. thats a really good start. keep going and you'll do very well. if i had to mark that i would give you an A+
Do u like my (half)story?
WOW! thats really good! if you keep going, you may go far!
please please please, write out the second half, cos the first is a stunning piece of work. Congratulations.
